Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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