at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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