He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
