Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
