I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
