508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
third nipple confirmed
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
