Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
