"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
