woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
please come you make the beer taste better
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
