i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
