The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
