I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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