i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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