You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
