OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
