and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
