I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
