If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
