my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
