i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
