the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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