you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
