Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
