You're completely useless in the revolution.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
