Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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