We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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