I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
