you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize