just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
