i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
