He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
