i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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