Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
