woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
