After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
