remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
