my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
