i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
