The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
