is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
