she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
