I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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