this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
