you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I can't turn off my feet"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
