I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
