Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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