i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
