My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
