I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
