I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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