So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
