all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
