your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It all started with a game of naked twister.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
