Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she looked like the before picture.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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