And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
