I got chris browned last night
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
