I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we should paint friendship bongs
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
